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*at a corporate presentation* so in order to leverage parallelism to run our app we have to sh. we gotta sha- excuse me. there's a process called shPFFFhaha- I'm sorry. We sh-

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I am a mature grown-up person and can definitely handle the information that splitting a database across multiple machines is called "sharding"

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they say there are no atheists in foxholes but that doesn't really seem to capture the furry dating dynamics i've seen on mastodon

cursed, cult cw 

mormon youth pastor: you know how to play elden ring, but do you answer the door when the elders ring??

me trying to think about religion is an interesting experience because I experience the same thing as real religion doers where my brain attempts to comprehend ideas that are much too big for it but whereas a normal person would experience something like awe, my tiny little brain just goes "hm. neat!" and continues trying to process it rationally, like a little shrimp traversing a whalefall

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the existence of a legal name implies the existence of a better, sexier illegal name

my partner, just now: was the gremp there?

(referencing this classic of birdsite post twitter.com/murrman5/status/11)

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if bluetooth is so great, why isn't there a bluethreeth

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Dear open source users,

If the author of your favorite open source app has announced they stopped developing and supporting the app (because they're frustrated and possibly burned out), please don't suggest they do more free work so that you can continue using the app.
Instead, consider thanking them for their past work and let them know that you enjoyed their app.

Regards,
another open source developer

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fun fact about the classic visual/audial/kinesthetic learning styles: there is literally no evidence that people learn better in the modality they self-report as best in

they call me large club from ellen ring because baby I got that clout

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hey everyone it's me, Large Club, main character of the hit game Elven Ring. great to be here with all you fine people tonight

I have to give credit to dung-eater because he lives in a fantasy world which is honestly a living hell for pretty much everyone, including the beings who are supposed to benefit from its arrangement, and thought real hard and said "y'know, I bet if I put effort into it and do my best, I could make all of this much worse."

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divorced guys huddled around a burning trash can outside of divorce court singing doo wop songs. the day is hot but their hearts are cold…

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had a conceptual intrusive thought so fully realized and so dumb that i drew it.

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Americans: :Actually: I'd hate to live in a dreary commie land where all housing is identical and I'm not allowed to use it as I see fit

Also Americans: well I'd like to paint my house a nice bold blue, but then it might not resell for as much. Beige it is! Wait hang on, the HOA is emailing me about my food garden they say is unsightly. I'll have to dig it up.

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☠️ librepunk ☠️

a friendly general instance for coders, queers, and leftists!