As the weather warms, the time has come once again to attempt to convince my wife that camo shorts are totally awesome.

"Contains eggs and peanuts. Manufactured in a facility that also processes products containing wheat, soy and tree nuts. Manufactured on equipment that may be run by an operator with weird-ass toes."

Y'all, I had a perfect opportunity to Siddon some frowny self-serious nerd from some freeze peach instance just a moment ago, but I stayed my hand and just blocked all their shit. Let it be known that I am merciful.

In parts of the united states, the word "toilet" is pronounced "trawrlet," and they shit uncontrollably every time they say it.


I streamlined my noise-making process, and I made this. I think it's a concept album. I think. I don't know. I was just doing an introspective stream-of-consciousness thing with the track titles, so I cut my "loaf" of noise into little chunks so I could fit a bunch of 'em in. Hope it means something. Hope it's something positive.

There is no such thing as spring. There's just a couple months when people refuse to accept that it's still winter.

Y'all play them video games? Y'all play them Elton Rings, man?


Has anyone else noticed this thing where Oregonians sometimes don't seem to know the word "drank?" Like, ask what they did with the water, and they'll start throwing out wild, improvised past-tenses like "drinken" and "dronken." It's neat.

I wonder if the Peter Criss imposter and the Mike Portnoy imposter ever met.

my cat got the poo-poo fingers, and he's ready to touch some mouth today.

"I'm not like other ventriloquists! I'm a cool, edgy ventriloquist! My puppet says 'fuck!'"
- Every Goddamn Ventriloquist for the Past 3,000 Goddamn Years

violence, not serious 

Pete Seeger wrote a much gentler version of Woody Guthrie's "This Machine Kills Fascists" on his banjo.

Of course, if one were to take the slogan literally, a banjo could really fuck up a fascist. Real bad. It would be extremely hard to kill someone with a mere hollow-body guitar.

Maybe that's why Seeger toned it down. The inherent lethality of the banjo was too great to invoke, even metaphorically. The banjo is the nuclear weapon of the anti-fascist folk singer.

noise, uspol 

I made a 20 minute noise. Don't give me money. Give money to an organization that is doing some good. Use the noise where and when noise is needed.


P. Panhandle Possum

lewd, caps 

Guard 1: "We can help you find your way, but there is something you must know. One of us always lies, and one of us always bites your dick."

Adventurer: "But how shall I kn--OH GOD MY FUCKING DICK"

"music" lesson 

Tried releasing a single through a distribution service to see what that's like. It's a nightmare, but I learned a lot.

A million little steps, all meant to ensure that nobody ever hears, plays or uses music without a monetary transaction. Royalties, copyright registration, performance rights, streaming revenue, Jesus fuck. Gotta be a fuckin' lawyer to keep it straight. If this were my livelihood, I'd have to be glad some of that shit is there, but, again, Jesus fuck.

Anyway, I was able to circumvent most of the bullshit by declaring my half-minute of floppy wet noise to be a public domain "traditional song," and just waiving a bunch of stuff and not registering a copyright or any of that shit.

Number one, with a bullet!

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☠️ librepunk ☠️

a friendly general instance for coders, queers, and leftists!