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if eugen's name was debra the hashtag could be #mastodeb. blows your mind 2 think about it huh

i'm the riddlecrafter of some random bridge that arthur never went down because heavy floods motivated him to take a different route through the county, but i was there, I promise.

WOAH someone just THREW open my storm door, came in, threw down their pack, and then looked around and said "OH this is the wrong room" and started to leave but like... what the shit? Who are you? What are you... why are...

First off just don't open doors that hard it's rough on them and second you knocked over my lemon tree and third who the fuck are you????

Excited for the anime adaption of Arthurian legend where it's re-imagined as a harem anime and called I Am the King of Camelot and All the Knights of My Round Table Are in Love With Me

sidetoot 

Putting on a ball gown to water these plants. They don't really seem to care

Me, trying to sing Take Me Home Country Roads by John Denver but my mouth is full of salty little rocks from the shore:
Tae be hoooabe
Oantwy ooabs
Oo a waaaaaae
Aye ewooang

You know who else hits the back walls just right? That's right, gang, Jesus Christ will hit the back walls .. of your heart 😔👊 Amen fist bump and blow it up, Brother Samuel.

@tek @melissasage
grub-hub guy: shrugs, stops delivering
bosses: society is collapsing without my guidance!

will never not be funny that the plot of Atlas Shrugged is, more or less, "what if rich people went on strike"

subtoot 

cursed meta, also maybe cursed, us pol, eldritch horror, content warnings meta 

@Torie

hm. another sponsored post from the big self-awareness lobby. 😤

just for two seconds when you see a new piece of information that seems a little weird think "who benefits from me believing this" like. Just for two seconds. Please.

really negative, uspol 

c, python, and java joke 

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☠️ librepunk ☠️

A friendly mastodon instance primarily for shitposting, gays, and the glory of the free and open source software movement.